Destructive behavior, as we usually suppose, leads to destructive lives. This in turn creates tension and stress in our social relations and inner life. Why am I talking about this? well, for the most part, because I do engage in this type of behavior quite often. as many times as i can, sadly. and after a recollection of memories and events that presupposed me to this, I began to think and understand, to some extent, my reasons for such blasphemous behavior (it's blasphemous, since it goes against a correct moral understanding of oneself taking a very uninteresting path that only derives in self destruction).
I, for as long as i can remember, have no such interest in my life that can perpetuate as state of well being. My major concern with myself is that of not being able to give praise or joy to myself, in the way that a common good citizen does, it's been difficult it drives me to go beyond, which is good, but at the same time it does not allow me to enjoy my success. oh, it is hard, it looks hard. so now, i want to change, i need to. and although i said i would at the beginning of this blog, trust me, i have not been able to.
many restrictions appeared and held me back, just as others that did before went away. i need my time, but it is not the case that i am able to grant it to myself. i can't im at a loss, unable, unwilling and unwanted. can anyone feed me some info on this? google is just not cutting it. thus far this is only a way of wynning.
it's not working and it is very, very frustrating.
No comments:
Post a Comment